Television Nirvana

Sitting like a lady . . . Will?  Earlier this week, courtesy of In Touch , stories were circulated that Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith were separating.  Not massive news, I grant you, especially given the report that about 50% of all marriages end in divorce.  Yes, 50%.  That's a pretty sad commentary on our society today, isn't it? What I found interesting about the alleged Smith/Pinkett-Smith separation was that Jada Pinkett Smith is probably the most vocal celebrity when it comes to declaring how amazingly wonderful their marriage is and, in particular, how active and satisfying and nonstop their sex life is.  This amount of oversharing is generally a big old red flag that when someone finds the need to overshare and overcompensate, they are making up for something.  As my grandmother used to say, those who talk the most, get the least.  Or, thou doth protest too much, in a sense, Jada. I'm not saying that Will and Jada didn't have the ...

For so many things, really.  For the shamarriage with Tom Cruise, for the inexplicably bad fashion sense but today, I want an explanation for Dizzy Feet Foundation. If you don't know, Katie is a spokeshole for the Foundation which claims to support underprivileged young people in their dreams to become dancers and improve dance education here in the U.S.  Producer Nigel Lythgoe, director Adam Shankman, and  Dancing With the Stars  judge Carrie Ann Inaba round out this "founders" quartet with Ms. Holmes-Cruise.  Hmmm, which one of these is not like the other?  So last summer Katie borrowed a pair of Tom's dancing tights and painfully sashayed her way across the Dancing with the Stars stage, in an alleged homage to Judy Garland to highlight Dizzy Feet.  If anything, it was a hatchet job on poor Judy, whose reputation has really suffered enough, don't you think?  And rather than highlighting Dizzy Feet, I think it showcased why Katie Holmes-...

Did anyone watch Kirstie Alley's "reality" show on A&E last spring?  If you missed it (and sadly, I was not one of the smart ones who did), it was called My Big Life (pun so totally intended) and A&E passed up that little goldmine (pun so totally intended) after it's freshman season.  Not so with Lifetime, where the suits in their infinite wisdom (pun so totally intended) have decided to snap this little gem up and subject their viewers to Kirstie's half hour of Scientology promotion, her weird daily life and the lemurs she keeps on her property.  Okay, so I like the lemurs.  In other exciting (pun so totally intended) news, Kirstie once again claims to have lost a boatload of weight, thanks to her Scientology b.s. products and blessings from L. Ron Hubbard.  I think Kirstie is totally full of crap about the weight loss but smart enough to realize that the only career she truly has left is gain weight/lose weight.  The photo above is Kirstie ...

There is probably more false press about Suri Cruise (Suri is studying acting!  Suri is a natural athlete!  Suri is Tom Cruise's child!) than any other pseudo-celebrity child on the planet so I generally take everything I read with a grain of salt.  However, when the "news" is about the excessive sums that Tom Cruise and his hired robot Katie Holmes spend on the child, I tend to believe it.  The most recent newsworthy (hah!) tale is that the Cruise-azies have spent $6,000 on a princess outfit for Halloween for The Amazing Woman (what Katie called Suri in an interview when Suri was less than 2 years old).  Allegedly Tom made arrangements to have a one of a kind princess outfit made for the spoiled 5 4 year old.   Wonder if Tom had a matching princess dress made for himself?  Or maybe he took the idea for Suir's dress from his own? Anyhow . . . what a bargain!  $6,000 for a dress that Suri will wear for a couple of hours, once....

Does anyone still believe these two are “real”? Is it any coincidence that Katie has a film coming out ( The Romantics ) and suddenly we see her, with her “amazing” husband, on the red carpet? When was the last time these two were seen together? . . . (crickets) . . . Anyone? . . .I’m waiting . . . Exactly! Exhibit A.  Photo to the left.  Nevermind how horrible Katie looks – - although I do wonder how someone with Tom Cruise’s black AmEx card and plenty of stylists available can continue to look like fashion roadkill. Who on earth told her it was cool or trendy to pair beige shoes with black hose? And if this crazy woman tries to tell us one more time that her fashion felonies are a result of the ever resourceful Suri choosing her clothes, I'm going to scream.  Good God! Look at Tom. He sure is enamored of his wife, isn’t he? Sure is attracted to her. Because most men would keep their hands safely crammed in their pockets if they are truly in love with their ...