Television Nirvana

It's the only way to explain how your favorite Scientology nut could have lost 50 pounds - - I can buy that she's losing brain cells.  Of course that also means I must concede that she had them to begin with. Earlier this week, Kirstie took to her favorite medium - - no,not the local Krispy Kreme, but Twitter - - and lied her ass off (no, not literally or else it may have been true) that she had lost 50 pounds on her Scientology weight loss bullshit.  I think we all realize by now that Kirstie claiming to lose weight is like the little boy who cried wolf, only she goes on Oprah and photoshops pics to perpetuate her fraud. So the above pictures were also taken this week and I think it's pretty clear that Kirstie didn't lose 50 pounds of anything except maybe shampoo and hairbrushes.  Homegirl also desperately needs a stylist.  Maybe she and fellow Scieno-tool Katie Holmes can get a two-fer deal?  Hey, Kirstie, maybe if you wash your hair more than...

Did anyone watch Kirstie Alley's "reality" show on A&E last spring?  If you missed it (and sadly, I was not one of the smart ones who did), it was called My Big Life (pun so totally intended) and A&E passed up that little goldmine (pun so totally intended) after it's freshman season.  Not so with Lifetime, where the suits in their infinite wisdom (pun so totally intended) have decided to snap this little gem up and subject their viewers to Kirstie's half hour of Scientology promotion, her weird daily life and the lemurs she keeps on her property.  Okay, so I like the lemurs.  In other exciting (pun so totally intended) news, Kirstie once again claims to have lost a boatload of weight, thanks to her Scientology b.s. products and blessings from L. Ron Hubbard.  I think Kirstie is totally full of crap about the weight loss but smart enough to realize that the only career she truly has left is gain weight/lose weight.  The photo above is Kirstie ...