Really, isn't that how Katie Holmes gets all her parts nowadays? We know it's not due to her talent (acting, singing, dancing - - does homegirl have any discernible talent other than shopping or eating cupcakes?) and I don't think threats will work at this point given that Tom doesn't have the power he used to. But he does still have some bank and I'm guessing that he's spending a pretty penny to try and make Katie Holmes happen.
Newsflash, Einstein. It ain't gonna happen. First, Katie Holmes is too fricking old. At least in Hollywood terms. She's 32, which is ancient to an industry and city that thrives on youth. If you haven't made it by 30 and you aren't Sir Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren or Marie Dressler, forget it. You get my point, right? Second, and perhaps most importantly, Katie Holmes is boring. Bor-the-fuck-ing. If Suri isn't with her, does anyone give a rat's ass? I didn't think so. She does absolutely nothing of note. She hasn't lost her mind and shaved her head (although who would blame her, given that freak she allegedly co-habitates with). She hasn't shown up panty free (thank God). She hasn't come stumbling out of a bar drunk off her ass late at night and fallen down. She has come out of a restaurant late at night with Suri but again, here is the Suri factor. Katie with Suri = somewhat interesting. Katie without Suri = yawn. Third, Katie is void of any personality or talent. She can't act. Bitch, please. You can't make me believe for half a second that you and your "husband" share the same zip code, much less the same bedroom so no way am I going to buy you as the girlfriend/wife/whatever, whatever of whatever part Tom has just bought you. She can't dance. I saw that so-called homage to Judy Garland. Shame on everyone involved. And no more guest judging. Not only is Katie woefully underqualified but her "judging" consists of "amazing", "magnificent", blah, blah, blah. Did she give everyone a cupcake after the show?
So now she turns up at MTV's VMAs. Because her connection with music and singing is . . . Tom's checkbook! It's the only answer because I refuse to call what she did to my eardrums on Dawson's Creek as music or singing.
So here is the third Mrs. Cruise, putting on her smirkety smirk, wearing some hideous booties and doing that asinine bendy thing she does with her legs. Okay, I stand corrected. Maybe the bendy thing can be considered a talent.
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