Skip to main content

Katie Holmes at the VMAs . . . why?

If you're like me and scratching your head in puzzlement over why a subpar actress best known for an angsty teen soap and conning the public about her sham of a marriage with a hyperactive Scientology nut of an actor was invited to be a presenter at the Video Music Awards, two words.  Tom's checkbook. 

Really, isn't that how Katie Holmes gets all her parts nowadays?  We know it's not due to her talent (acting, singing, dancing - - does homegirl have any discernible talent other than shopping or eating cupcakes?) and I don't think threats will work at this point given that Tom doesn't have the power he used to.  But he does still have some bank and I'm guessing that he's spending a pretty penny to try and make Katie Holmes happen.

Newsflash, Einstein.  It ain't gonna happen.  First, Katie Holmes is too fricking old.  At least in Hollywood terms.  She's 32, which is ancient to an industry and city that thrives on youth.  If you haven't made it by 30 and you aren't Sir Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren or Marie Dressler, forget it.  You get my point, right?  Second, and perhaps most importantly, Katie Holmes is boring.  Bor-the-fuck-ing.  If Suri isn't with her, does anyone give a rat's ass?  I didn't think so.  She does absolutely nothing of note.  She hasn't lost her mind and shaved her head (although who would blame her, given that freak she allegedly co-habitates with).  She hasn't shown up panty free (thank God).  She hasn't come stumbling out of a bar drunk off her ass late at night and fallen down.  She has come out of a restaurant late at night with Suri but again, here is the Suri factor.  Katie with Suri = somewhat interesting.  Katie without Suri = yawn.  Third, Katie is void of any personality or talent.  She can't act.  Bitch, please.  You can't make me believe for half a second that you and your "husband" share the same zip code, much less the same bedroom so no way am I going to buy you as the girlfriend/wife/whatever, whatever of whatever part Tom has just bought you.   She can't dance.  I saw that so-called homage to Judy Garland.  Shame on everyone involved.  And no more guest judging.  Not only is Katie woefully underqualified but her "judging" consists of "amazing", "magnificent", blah, blah, blah.  Did she give everyone a cupcake after the show?

So now she turns up at MTV's VMAs.  Because her connection with music and singing is . . . Tom's checkbook!  It's the only answer because I refuse to call what she did to my eardrums on Dawson's Creek as music or singing.

So here is the third Mrs. Cruise, putting on her smirkety smirk, wearing some hideous booties and doing that asinine bendy thing she does with her legs.  Okay, I stand corrected.  Maybe the bendy thing can be considered a talent.


Popular posts from this blog

20/20: The Hennis/Eastburn Case Profiled in "Witness"

Thank goodness for online television viewing because I missed this episode of 20/20 which aired a few weeks back, dealing with the seemingly improbable legal case of Tim Hennis. 

I have kept up with much of the Hennis case, involving the brutal 1985 murders of Katie Eastburn and two of her daughters, Kara and Erin.  I read the excellently written book Innocent Victims by Scott Whisnant.  I watched the well done television movie of the same name. 

I found the 20/20 segment to be very well done, presenting as much of the overwhelming amount of evidence as possible within the forty or so minutes allowed.  Particularly heartbreaking were the emotional interviews with the victims' husband and father, Gary Eastburn, and the surviving Eastburn child, Jana, who was less than two years old at the time of the murders. 

20/20 also interviewed author Scott Whisnant, who continues to hold firm to his belief that Tim Hennis is innocent and has been railroaded, as well as Hennis' former de…

Meet Melissa, the Queen Bridezilla

So I was channel surfing last night and ended up having a good two (okay, maybe three) hours of my life drained by WE's bridal bitchfest Bridezillas.  I realize the point of the show is to showcase what out of control hags some women are when planning their weddings but Miss Melissa really takes the cake. 

First, she claims to be 23 and I always find it interesting that most of these chicks look older than they claim to be.  I'd like to see a birth certificate before I agree to that.  She also claims to be in medical school, which is really funny considering (1) Melissa seems to have an awful lot of free time on her hands, to bitch, whine, complain and threaten to kill people and (2) for someone who claims to want a career saving lives, she sure talks about taking a lot of them.  (Case in point:  Melissa, concerned that she won't be happy with her wedding cake, tells the camera that if the baker screws it up, she will kill her and eat her). 

So . . . Melissa and her oh-s…

Downsized: Or How WE TV Dropped the Ball

Let me start this post off first with a disclaimer.  WE TV is not CNN.  I think we all know that.  After all, this is the station that brought us Bridezillas, the show that would happen if Jerry Springer, the Kardashians, a whole lot of alcohol and some serious bitchery were to spawn. 

However, when I first heard of Downsized, a show that premiered last summer, I wanted to give it that good old college try because the circumstances seemed especially fitting given the economic craphole this country seems to be falling into.

If you haven't heard of Downsized, the show is about a family who, having lost "everything" due to the economic downturn, finds itself having to downsize in all aspects in order to survive.  I thought the show would be helpful not only in that "we're not the only ones in this boat" way but also maybe light some creative fires for those of us who were looking for ways to conserve and save money.

Negatory!  This show is nothing like that a…