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Meet Melissa, the Queen Bridezilla

The lovely Melissa
Photo Source:  WETV.com
So I was channel surfing last night and ended up having a good two (okay, maybe three) hours of my life drained by WE's bridal bitchfest Bridezillas.  I realize the point of the show is to showcase what out of control hags some women are when planning their weddings but Miss Melissa really takes the cake. 

First, she claims to be 23 and I always find it interesting that most of these chicks look older than they claim to be.  I'd like to see a birth certificate before I agree to that.  She also claims to be in medical school, which is really funny considering (1) Melissa seems to have an awful lot of free time on her hands, to bitch, whine, complain and threaten to kill people and (2) for someone who claims to want a career saving lives, she sure talks about taking a lot of them.  (Case in point:  Melissa, concerned that she won't be happy with her wedding cake, tells the camera that if the baker screws it up, she will kill her and eat her). 

So . . . Melissa and her oh-so-whipped intended Chris had been dating all of four months when Chris decided that he had to have bitch and nag in his life permanently.  I jest not.  Melissa complains, name calls and shows nothing but contempt for the man she will soon be promising to love and honor until death do they part (likely his, given her verbal track record).  Chris seems like a nice enough man who could certainly do better than this BOW (bitch on wheels) but I figure he must have suffered some terrible accident that resulted in the loss of his spine and testicles because I really have no other idea why he would be with Melissa. 

We (me and the probably one other person watching this mess) are "treated" to Melissa screeching at Chris about his drawing abilities while Chris attempts to work on the reception seating chart and berating him while he glues rhinestones on to her wedding shoes.   She also tells the camera that this will be her "first marriage" and hey, if it doesn't work out, they can always divorce.  A ringing endorsement for their marriage, don't you think? 

The best part of the two episode arc was the actually wedding.  Many brides have a drink or two to steady their nerves but not Melissa!  Homegirl starts tippling while her hair is getting done and she's so enraged over the cost of her makeup (hey, it's expensive to color up fugly) that she does a shot or twelve.  No, okay, she doesn't actually do a shot until she's en route to her ceremony on a golf cart but before that she drinks like a dirty sailor on leave after a year at sea.  Girlfriend is literally drunk by the time her sure to be embarrassed father walks her down the aisle . . . where she stumbles up to her awaiting groom and tells her maid of honor to "hold this shit", meaning her flowers.  Nice!   She is so completely intoxicated that I am surprised the minister married her.  She slaps her groom's hands away when they are exchanging rings and when they are heading back down the aisle after Chris is pronounced Melissa's victim and bitch for life, she tells one of the ringbearers to move and get out of the way.  The guests look appropriately horrified.    It's one thing to tie one on during the reception but, really, what do you do when the bride shows up tanked before anyone else has a chance to take a drink? 

Crazy Melissa cements the "drunk" label by loudly bellowing to her guests that they need to come in to the reception where there is free alcohol.  Party!  Again, the guests look appropriately horrified.  And this woman is supposedly in medical school?  Bitch, please. 

During the confessional at the end, Bitchzilla is still relatively tanked, complains about the centerpieces, the flowers, rips off Chris' boutonniere, states they are married (duh!) and she has to wear a ring now (said with a deep sigh) and forewarns others to not do it.  Probably good advice for Chris.  Good luck there, buddy.

Comments

  1. I just watched this episode on netflix and I have to say that I've never had a doctor before with tattoos all over his/her hands & fingers like Melissa does, nor such a hateful personality. When I noticed all the tattoos and heard her say she was in medical school I decided not to judge her. But when her true white-trash character revealed itself, the way she talked to people, most specifically her fiancee and her mother, and made the comments about needing to drink and how she would kill people who dared ruin her wedding day, I had to go watch the beginning of the episode again to hear her say "I'm in medical school". I still don't believe it. She doesn't have an ounce of compassion for others in her - isn't that something required of the medical field? I dunno, maybe she has plans to work in a state prison someday. She'll fit right in.

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  2. I saw her recently on 'Bridezillas: Where Are They Now?", a TLC special where they followed up on some of the more memorable women from past seasons. In her follow-up interview she admitted that she's not really a medical student, she's actually pre-med, and then couldn't even remember what her major is until her fiance reminded her (cytology or microbiology or something like that). At the time that her 'Bridezillas' episode was filmed, she hadn't even started pre-med yet, so it took a lot of nerve for her to claim to be in med school. I'm a med student with tats-o-plenty and a fairly unconventional lifestyle and I can categorically state that tattoos and a stint on reality TV probably won't hurt her chances of a career in medicine. Being a f$#@ing idiot will, though. Seriously, did she actually say "expectially"? Good luck breaking 25 on your MCATs, bimbo.

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  3. Great review. I just watched the episode on Netflix and I just had to google her because I, too, did not take her for a med student. Not because of her tattoos but because of the way she acts, didn't seem intelligent at all thank you for the follow up post that proves she is in fact a liar as well as a bitch. Her husband is an idiot and should really stick up for himself more, he seems to fear her which is disgusting. My fiancée treats me wonderfully but would also never let me walk, or trample, all over him. He actually caught bits and pieces of the episode as I was watching it and simply stated "I hate guys that allow that treatment towards themselves" what a coward! He seems like a nice guy that is going to spend a long time trying to make her happy, and failing, instead of being with someone much nicer who he could make happy.

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  4. Melissa was the most awful bridezilla of all time. Of all the husbands, I feel the most sorry for Chris. Thank you for the info that she is not a med student. I couldn't believe that either and it makes so much sense that she is not, and hopefully never will be, a doctor. Phew.

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  5. I went to high school with her! She's a bitch! She didn't lie about her age though but she is NOT in medical school. She went to keiser to become a phlebotomist, not sure if she ever finished.

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  6. Thank you all for your updates on the Queen Bitchzilla! Melissa still gives me the heebie jeebies. I can't believe Chris is still married to her - - when you don't intro your family to your intended until the wedding, that's probably a sign. That you should at least keep a divorce attorney on speed dial.

    Happy Valentine's Day!

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  7. To be perfectly honest, I think ALL of the Bridezillas need a good dose of poverty to humble themselves a little - whilst I understand that defeats the theme of this reality show; will they look back on these episodes as grandparents with pride or sheer embarrassment? Just wondering ..

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  8. I just watched the first episode and cringed as I saw her bitch out her fiancée for smoking and said she would divorce him if he got lung cancer. About her being a medical student, her teacher must be Leatherface because she is crazy... Why hasn't someone sent her ass to Antarctica in those damn shoes? She must have a rich family or SOMETHING!

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