Television Nirvana

This was far and away one of the best episodes ever.  EVER.   Every one of these heifers TM Phaedra let their snark out for some air.  Except for Kandi.  She's no heifer but she can bring the sarcasm as well as the next person.  NeNe needs to be under anesthesia each and every week.  Girlfriend is much funnier and more relaxed when she's got an IV drip.  Comparing herself to Michael Jackson after the rhinoplasty was a hoot and wasn't so far off the mark.  And being worried that she would look like Dwight after the surgery - - ha!  Sheree's talking head during NeNe's surgery was priceless - - if she got cosmetic surgery every time she had marital troubles, she'd look like Dwight.  Phaedra continues to be an absolute gift - - of course she would tell you that herself because she shoots rainbows and sunshine out her butt when she's not too busy accessorizing her fifteen month pregnant self.  She has surpassed Sheree in terms of being your own personal ch

If you're not watching Detroit 1-8-7 , you should be.  This is one of those shows that has a lot of promise, that works really well now and will only get better over time . . . but gets almost no marketing and no push from its network.  Those bastards.  I have dealt with this in the past with NBC (Nothing But Cancellations) - - remember Journeyman ?  The Black Donnellys ?  My Own Worst Enemy ?  All shows that had interesting concepts and could have really been developed but were cancelled in their first seasons.  Shame, NBC. I hope ABC doesn't follow suit with Detroit 1-8-7 .  If you like dramas that involve police investigations, Detroit 1-8-7 will fit the bill.  Michael Imperioli, late of The Sopranos and Life on Mars, helms this show as Detective Louis Fitch and while I haven't always been a huge fan of his, he nails this role.  Without him, this would be just other generic drama but he brings so much depth and interest to this role, it elevates the show out of coo

Boy, TPTB at Bravo are busy little bees, aren't they?  I, for one, am glad because now we have two disastrous train wrecks to watch! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is what this franchise should be about - - excess!  Everything in excess!  Money!  Narcissism!  Crazies!  Cosmetic surgery!  These ladies bring it all - - and no "for show" like other Ho'wives (yes, I'm looking at you, NeNe and Sheree from Atlanta).  New Howife Adrienne lives in a 19,000 square foot house.  Beat that!  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how much freaking furniture that would be.  Anyhow, Adrienne is rich.  Filthy rich.  She lives in a gated community in Bel Air and she's part of the Maloof family and her husband is a Bev Hills cosmetic surgeon.  Despite what Dr. 90210 has done to her face (and not his own) she is very likable.  She is also tough, which she proves by flipping her trainer's son over in a karate-like move.  Next door to Adrienne lives Lisa . 

Seriously.  What else can be said about last Thursday's episode other than the fact that Caroline is quite simply the most bad ass vampire on the show?  And for a show packed with delicious characters, that says a lot.  This episode was all Caroline's, from her super human snooping at the Founders Day picnic to her handily kicking Mason's ass to her takedown of Stefan's and Damon's captors, including her own mother.  No, it certainly doesn't get yummier than this in Mystic Falls.  Truth be told, I didn't like Caroline at all the first season.  She was a whiny, indulged and indulgent princess and I coun't understand what Elena would see in her.  What a difference a bit of Damon's blood, along with a suffocation at the hands of Katherine, does for a girl.  Sure, she can still be a bit whiny.  After all, being turned does make those character quirks a bit stronger.  But girlfriend has some backbone and I can't wait for the day she finally lets l

So this episode is called "The Bachelors" and the burning question in my mind is . . . since when did high schools host charity events that involved auctioning off male students for dates?  Such things never happened when I was in high school but it seems to be the norm around Beverly Hills. Anyhow . . .I need TPTB to explain to me why they hate Adrianna so much and what her purpose on the show is.  She was so much more exciting and interesting back in the first season when she was a doped up former child actress who gets knocked up in rehab.  Her storyline is so boring now that I find myself more interested in checking my hair for split ends when she's on screen.  Soooooo . . . . Javier's sleazy uncle is now blackmailing Adrianna into being her manager since he knows she stole Javier's songs and all after he became a human panini.  Adrianna, instead of maybe telling Laurel about the whole stupid mess simpers and whimpers and lets Sleazy Uncle take 80%.  She&#

Oxygen has renewed Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood for a sixth season.  Wow, can't believe this "reality" show has been on for five seasons already.  And yes, I have watched it from season one.  Don't hate.  So successful is the show, apparently, that Oxygen has offered the duo a second show.  This one is called sTORIbook Weddings and Tori and Dean put their questionable skills to use as wedding coordinators. Look, I have liked Tori since her days on Beverly Hills 90210 (again, don't hate) and her first reality show So NoTORIous was freaking hilarious.  So tragic that it only ran for a season.  Girlfriend can poke fun at herself and I truly admire that.  She seems like she would be a fun person to go shopping with (providing that she's picking up the tab, of course) or go have a drink with.  Would I trust her with my husband?  Hell, naw.  Will you watch sTORIbook Weddings ?  Will you watch a sixth season of Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood ? 

Did anyone watch the premiere of Law & Order: Los Angeles last week?  I did and I was heartily disappointed.  The premiere epi seemed disjointed and it just lacked that Law & Order feel that made the original show such a success.  No familiar opening montage with the "In the criminal justice system . . ." and "DUN DUN".  And the characters just didn't gel for me. The show's second episode, airing last night, fared much better.  The writing was more cohesive and there was a better flow to the show.  I liked the overall story which centered on the murder of a former cult member who had been imprisoned since the late 70s for some brutal killings and was released on a compassionate basis as she had been imprisoned for three decades and was suffering from cancer.  Sound familiar?  If you're a true crime buff, it should.  This was taken from the Charles Manson case (although those murders happened in 1969) and the massive press surrounding Manson Fam

Photo Source:  DListed Thanks to Michael K at DListed for the head's up on Jeremy Sisto's birthday today.  It's the big number 36 for Mr. Sisto, who was one of the best parts of Law & Order .  Sigh.  I loved me some Law & Order .  Just thinking about the idiots at NBC who killed this show to bring on the lukewarm Law & Order: Los Angeles makes me cry like Dina Lohan every time she sees Miley Cyrus on a tabloid cover instead of one of her cash cows.  Speaking of Law & Order: Los Angeles , can Detective Cyrus Lupo please pack his bags, grab his dog and move his sexy detective act to LA?  I like Skeet Ulrich and the bald guy who was in the last Mummy movie but something is missing from this new offshoot.  I'm thinking we need a familiar face - - and maybe a good writer.  Here is the birthday boy in an obviously old PHO-to ( TM Tyra).  I'm not sure which scares me more - - the thousand pancakes and the scary pattern in the background or the Billy

After a disappointing (in my opinion) season 6 opener, Supernatural is headed back on track with a return to the teaming of Sam and Dean.  Unfortunately, the Campbell clan is still around. The good:   Monster of Week is back .  This week it was something called an Alpha which is the Head Shape Shifter in Charge.  The HSSC was visiting half a dozen or so families in and around Lansing, Michigan, shifting into an exact (and I mean exact ) replica of the husband when the husband isn't around to play a little slap and tickle with the wife, leaving her knocked up.  A chauvanistic pig supernatural being . . . hmmm.  The story didn't end there.  The HSSC was returning 9+ months later to collect on his deposit - - killing the parents and spiriting away the baby.  Dean and Sam Work Together .  Yes!  Dean and Sam are back together, working to solve the mystery and track down the Monster of the Week.  Far more interesting than Sam and/or Dean working solo. Dean's Scenes with Shap

It seems like it has been forever and a day since we've last caught up with our favorite southern Ho'wives but last night, the bitches are back!  NeNe and husband Gregg are in new (rental) digs, she's sporting a backless dress (Lord help us all), and she and Kim are apparently trying to make amends with a light lunch at Chez Leakes.  And no, you're not the only one with "WTF?" racing through your brain.  I, for one, wouldn't want to be breaking bread or sharing a fruit plate with some crazy moose who tried to strangle me.  During their "make amends" luncheon, NeNe tells Kim that she and Gregg are having problems (old news to tabloid readers - - NeNe and Gregg are supposedly separated).  Kim tells NeNe that she ran into Dwight and Dwight told her that Gregg borrowed $10,000 from him.  NeNe gets all huffy because (1) she didn't know about this little loan and (2) because if Gregg needed money, he could come to the newly family breadwinner, Ne

Finally, the evil Katherine returns to The Vampire Diaries and confronts Elena.  I wish their encounter had been longer but I will take this thirty second or so conversation like Lindsay Lohan collects mug shots.  Their exchange was altogether too brief though - - Elena asked why they looked alike and Katherine told her she asked the wrong question.  Hmmm . . . So in last week's episode we found out that Katherine had apparently been developing an immunity to vervaine for the last 145 years after Stefan attempted to use it against her.  Not before she told him some history of werewolves and Mystic Falls (George Lockwood was a shifter and knew that Katherine was a blood sucker) and admitted that she had truly fallen in love with Stefan and had not compelled him to fall in love with her, as he suspected.  She claims to have returned to Mystic Falls solely to return to Stefan. I'm not buying this because Katherine has had 145 years to seek Stefan out and declare her undying (

Photo Source: bravotv.com That's right!  Those crazy bitches from the ATL are back!  I can't wait.  I am a glutton for punishment when it comes to the Real Housewife franchise - - I watch the crazies from Atlanta, from New York City and from Orange County.  I am particularly fond of the homegirls from Orange County, as I used to live there, and Atlanta, as I am from there.  And let me just say, most of the "exclusive" neighborhoods these delusional gals claim to live in aren't so "exclusive".  Nor in Atlanta proper. ANYHOW . . . will you be watching tonight?  Kim and her wig are sure to bring the crazy, boring Lisa got the boot and I thought I heard that nutty Sheree was also pink slipped.  Although Sheree does provide hours of entertainment with her particular brand of crazy. Please be sure to answer my poll on the sidebar and let me know what your favorite Real Housewife franchise is!

The lovely Melissa Photo Source:  WETV.com So I was channel surfing last night and ended up having a good two (okay, maybe three) hours of my life drained by WE's bridal bitchfest Bridezillas .  I realize the point of the show is to showcase what out of control hags some women are when planning their weddings but Miss Melissa really takes the cake.  First, she claims to be 23 and I always find it interesting that most of these chicks look older than they claim to be.  I'd like to see a birth certificate before I agree to that.  She also claims to be in medical school, which is really funny considering (1) Melissa seems to have an awful lot of free time on her hands, to bitch, whine, complain and threaten to kill people and (2) for someone who claims to want a career saving lives, she sure talks about taking a lot of them.  (Case in point:  Melissa, concerned that she won't be happy with her wedding cake, tells the camera that if the baker screws it up, she will kill h

For so many things, really.  For the shamarriage with Tom Cruise, for the inexplicably bad fashion sense but today, I want an explanation for Dizzy Feet Foundation. If you don't know, Katie is a spokeshole for the Foundation which claims to support underprivileged young people in their dreams to become dancers and improve dance education here in the U.S.  Producer Nigel Lythgoe, director Adam Shankman, and  Dancing With the Stars  judge Carrie Ann Inaba round out this "founders" quartet with Ms. Holmes-Cruise.  Hmmm, which one of these is not like the other?  So last summer Katie borrowed a pair of Tom's dancing tights and painfully sashayed her way across the Dancing with the Stars stage, in an alleged homage to Judy Garland to highlight Dizzy Feet.  If anything, it was a hatchet job on poor Judy, whose reputation has really suffered enough, don't you think?  And rather than highlighting Dizzy Feet, I think it showcased why Katie Holmes-Cruise is not a dancer

It's the only way to explain how your favorite Scientology nut could have lost 50 pounds - - I can buy that she's losing brain cells.  Of course that also means I must concede that she had them to begin with. Earlier this week, Kirstie took to her favorite medium - - no,not the local Krispy Kreme, but Twitter - - and lied her ass off (no, not literally or else it may have been true) that she had lost 50 pounds on her Scientology weight loss bullshit.  I think we all realize by now that Kirstie claiming to lose weight is like the little boy who cried wolf, only she goes on Oprah and photoshops pics to perpetuate her fraud. So the above pictures were also taken this week and I think it's pretty clear that Kirstie didn't lose 50 pounds of anything except maybe shampoo and hairbrushes.  Homegirl also desperately needs a stylist.  Maybe she and fellow Scieno-tool Katie Holmes can get a two-fer deal?  Hey, Kirstie, maybe if you wash your hair more than once a month, you

I'm not sure if it's the horrendous fashion (if you consider my grandmother's floraly bedspread fashion) that is severely taxing my brain or that Katie Holmes was invited to participate in Variety's 2nd Annual Power of Women Luncheon.  Let's start with the attire, shall we? I think I had a pattern very similar to this back in the 80s.  Yes, that decade of Ronald Reagan as president, MTV playing actual music videos and truly godawful fashion.  Where on earth did Katie dig up this roadkill apparel?  The floral pattern is literally about to send me into a seizure it's so busy.  And what's with the fit?  Did she get the dress caught in her bra?  Wait, is she even wearing a bra because those girls look awful droopy and lopsided.  The black hose and shoes are dreadful.  This is a luncheon , girlfriend . . . that usually means light colored shoes and no dark hose!  Tom didn't train you very well.  I know when he has his all girl (translated to pool boys) lunch