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I Demand an Explanation, Joey Potter

For so many things, really.  For the shamarriage with Tom Cruise, for the inexplicably bad fashion sense but today, I want an explanation for Dizzy Feet Foundation.

If you don't know, Katie is a spokeshole for the Foundation which claims to support underprivileged young people in their dreams to become dancers and improve dance education here in the U.S.  Producer Nigel Lythgoe, director Adam Shankman, and  Dancing With the Stars judge Carrie Ann Inaba round out this "founders" quartet with Ms. Holmes-Cruise.  Hmmm, which one of these is not like the other? 

So last summer Katie borrowed a pair of Tom's dancing tights and painfully sashayed her way across the Dancing with the Stars stage, in an alleged homage to Judy Garland to highlight Dizzy Feet.  If anything, it was a hatchet job on poor Judy, whose reputation has really suffered enough, don't you think?  And rather than highlighting Dizzy Feet, I think it showcased why Katie Holmes-Cruise is not a dancer and never will be.

Officially the reason that our old Kate was included in the Variety's Women of Power Luncheon was due to her work with Dizzy Feet (but unofficially we all know that Katie was included because Tom's check didn't bounce).  I guess that's the card Camp Cruise is going to play now - - Katie the humanitarian.  Hey, it works for Angelina. 

Sooooo . . . why is it that the other women given this award last week can speak coherently and knowingly about their charities and Katie sounds as if she's reading off cue cards written by Suri while under the influence of those evil wog vices better known as prescription medication?  Can Katie tell us anything about Dizzy Feet besides it's "amazing" or "magnificent"?  Maybe Tom needs to upgrade and reboot her system? 

And because that appearance went over like Michael Vick at a PETA fundraiser, Katie is also lending her questionable support to "Keep a Child Alive" campaign, which provides support to families affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.  Interesting.  I thought her "church" didn't believe in HIV/AIDS.  Didn't Jenna Elfman call it a state of mind? 

Let's not even hit the irony scale on how humorous it is for someone who sold their life, and their child's, to Tom Cruise wearing a shirt that says "Buy Life". 


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