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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Series Premiere

Boy, TPTB at Bravo are busy little bees, aren't they?  I, for one, am glad because now we have two disastrous train wrecks to watch!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is what this franchise should be about - - excess!  Everything in excess!  Money!  Narcissism!  Crazies!  Cosmetic surgery!  These ladies bring it all - - and no "for show" like other Ho'wives (yes, I'm looking at you, NeNe and Sheree from Atlanta).  New Howife Adrienne lives in a 19,000 square foot house.  Beat that!  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how much freaking furniture that would be. 

Anyhow, Adrienne is rich.  Filthy rich.  She lives in a gated community in Bel Air and she's part of the Maloof family and her husband is a Bev Hills cosmetic surgeon.  Despite what Dr. 90210 has done to her face (and not his own) she is very likable.  She is also tough, which she proves by flipping her trainer's son over in a karate-like move. 

Next door to Adrienne lives Lisa.  Lisa is a witty Brit who says things like "my husband considers me a sex object.  He mentions sex, I object."  Have no worries for Mr. Lisa though.  He does get sex on Christmas and on his birthday.  Not on Lisa's though - - that's her day off.  She has two permanent fixtures - - a stylishly attired teacup Pomeranian named Jiggy and a gay Brit named Cedric who has apparently followed Lisa and her husband around the world to Bev Hills and has been living with them for nearly 2 years.  Yeah, I don't get it either. 

Adrienne is friends with Taylor who is not only convinced that her husband is going to leave her for some 20 year old but proves to me that sock puppets can and do walk amongst us.  Seriously, Taylor looks like she came directly from a Jim Henson/The Dark Crystal movie set.  Only scarier.  Sock Puppet tells us that her marriage is 80% business and 20% romance.  Interesting.  Is the business end that he makes the money and she injects it into her lips?  I find all scenes with Sock Puppet very hard to concentrate on because I keep thinking her lips are going to just swallow up her face in their quest for world domination. 

Camille, in case you didn't know, was married to Kelsey Grammer at the time this filmed (but the couple has since filed for divorce amid the fact that Kelsey not only had a sidepiece but had impregnated said sidepiece).  Over film of her, ahem, dancing, she informs us that dancing has always been a vital part of her life.  I'm sure it has.  The kind that involves paper money going into g-strings.  Camille tells us about her 18 acre estate, their four nannies and how they are trying to be green by flying commercial sometimes, versus private jet.  Oh please.  Can someone smack this poseur already?  I can already tell she's going to bring the major bitch. 

Kim used to be a child star and I remember her - - I used to be so jealous of her long, blonde hair.  She's still got the hair but I think she may have a case of the BSCs too (that's batshit crazies).  She tells us she used to be a child star about a dozen times and Crazy Pants goes on this long, rambling tale about her niece Paris (Hilton) and some photographer and my head is spinning and I think I need to lay down.  Kim has been married twice and has four kids from three different men (all gorgeous kids) and she's currently trying to find a new place to live because her lease expires in two weeks.  I think Miss Kim may have a problem with procrastination.  Oh yeah, and she used to be a child actress in case you missed it.

Her sister Kyle, also a child actress, is married to an extremely hot realtor and has four children herself.  Goodness those Richards girls do love them some babies.  Kyle seems extremely sane, except when it comes to flying.  She is majorly OCD, every little bump from turbulence and she's convinced the end is near.  Good entertainment though.  She is friends with Lisa, who loves her but finds her OCD exhausting.  There is definitely some underlying tension between Kyle and Kim - - Kyle seems like the take-charge-get-it-done type while Kim is definitely wishy-washy.  And did I mention that Kyle's husband is hot? 

This franchise looks far and away more interesting than that deadly dull mix in D.C. or the craptacular trash in New Jersey.  I love Kyle and Lisa the best, although I have no doubt that Kim will bring some drama.  I dislike Camille the most -  I can sense her air of desperation from here. 

What do you think?  Did you watch?  Did you like it?  Will you watch again?

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