Real Housewives of Atlanta: Season 3, Episode 4

This was far and away one of the best episodes ever.  EVER.   Every one of these heifers TM Phaedra let their snark out for some air.  Except for Kandi.  She's no heifer but she can bring the sarcasm as well as the next person. 

NeNe needs to be under anesthesia each and every week.  Girlfriend is much funnier and more relaxed when she's got an IV drip.  Comparing herself to Michael Jackson after the rhinoplasty was a hoot and wasn't so far off the mark.  And being worried that she would look like Dwight after the surgery - - ha!  Sheree's talking head during NeNe's surgery was priceless - - if she got cosmetic surgery every time she had marital troubles, she'd look like Dwight. 

Phaedra continues to be an absolute gift - - of course she would tell you that herself because she shoots rainbows and sunshine out her butt when she's not too busy accessorizing her fifteen month pregnant self.  She has surpassed Sheree in terms of being your own personal cheerleader.  As Cynthia said, put down the pom poms, Phaedra, and step away from the megaphone.  Phaedra's level of delusion continues to amuse me greatly.  Homegirl tells Cynthia and her fiance Peter (who has five children) that her prayers were answered when Apollo was sent to her because he has no kids and no baggage.  I'm sorry, missy, but having a six year stint in the pokey counts as baggage in my book.  And in case you didn't know, Southern Belle Phaedra is a twue equestwian and models aren't necessarily attractive, they are just tall and thin.  Scarlet O'No You Didn't!   Phaedra needs to write a book on how to be a true Southern Belle, really.  Bless her heart.  Let's talk about the baby shower.  Imagine, if you will, a good old fashioned church revival with a dash of self importance, some Swan Lake ballerinas, rhinestone eyelids, a plethora of hats, a tab or two of acid and a whole lotta crazy.  That about sums it up.  I cannot imagine how much it hurt to have those glued on rhinestones ripped off Phaedra's eyelids.  And the hair - - Phaedra, dear, it looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man slimed you.  Oh, and don't forget the two true (self professed) queens of Atlanta sharing a waltz (that would be Phaedra and Dwight).   When Kim is shocked at the levels of tacky, you've crossed a line. Boughetto is right (thank you, Kandi).  Although bless Phaedra for her comment on Kim arriving late and sans hat - - a busted wig doesn't count as a hat.  My side still hurts from laughing. 

Cynthia is still a bit vanilla for me but she had some kick ass lines tonight.  Upon seeing Phaedra and Dwight's matchy matchy hot pink hats for the Steeplechase event, she says that Phaedra looks like a black Tammy Faye Baker and Dwight looks like Willy Wonka.  One for the books.  But why was Peter wearing darkity dark shades in the limo?  (Although given Phaedra and Dwight's electrifying outfits, maybe it was eye-saving prudency). 

Now we know where Kim gets her looks and her judgment.  Dad Joe actually condones Kim's relationship with the still very-married Big Poppa and Mom Karen appears to have a revolving charge account with NeNe's cosmetic surgeon.  Dad Joe tells us, with a straight face no less, that Kim is classy.  Uh-huh.  I think he meant klassy.  He also says that when Kim was in the 8th grade she sang a song in a Christmas pageant that made him cry.  I'm sure you weren't the only one, Joe.  Karen appeared to do nothing other than suck back her wine.  Guess we know where Kim got that too.  Who else thinks that Joe and Karen drove their home to Kim's place and it was parked in the driveway?  Just me?  Okay.  Given the looks of this trashtastic family tree, Kim's daughters don't have a chance.

Sheree attended Dr. Ty-E Fakity Fake's seminar and learns that she's apparently a ball buster because she opens her own ketchup (although she is quick to tell us that most restaurants she patronizes do not have bottles of ketchup on the tables.  Tres chic).  She also says that she does not like speaking in public.  Really?  I thought Sheree was working her way towards an Academy Award.  Homegirl might need a flowchart to keep her storyline straight. Although I did get a kick out of the sweatshirt she wore while working out.  It was an homage to her infamous beat down last season - - who's gonna check me, Boo? 

Kandi remains my favorite Howife.  She may have some questionable hair this season but she doesn't put on airs and she is probably more financially secure than any other lady.  She also actually works for a living - - and no, Kim, it's not on her back or all fours.  Kandi's facial expressions are pure gold, whether she's rolling her eyes at Kim's desire to be a world class singer (country, this season) without actually doing any singing, exasperation at having to put on a gaudy hat that she'll never wear again for the Phaedra shower or looking like a bright pink elephant was doing a march through said shower . . . I love this girl.  I do, however, wish she would reconsider that rooster's comb on her head; she's much too pretty for that nonsense. 

This season so far continues to be the best . . . and the Atlantans show the screechy hobags of New Jersey and incredibly dull D.C.-ers how true camp is done.